The marathon that never was: Edinburgh 2008

I've waited 8 days before blogging my Edinburgh Marathon experience - more a matter of internet availability than hesitation over what to write.

This was the first race I've ever failed to finish. At 10 miles, having just passed the finish at Musselbrough Race Course, with a 16 mile loop still to run, having battled 30mph headwinds for 5 miles and another 8 miles of headwind to go, being unable to sustain the pace required form sub-3:15, I bailed. I was very happy. Normally I'd feel a terrible sense of having not given my best - "Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever" said Lance Armstrong. In this particular case though, it was the right decision.

They say that to run a marathon you have to have forgotten your previous marathon. The memories of London 2008 were still very much to the fore! I left a bit of my soul (and sole!) on the streets of London. "I can't imagine putting in that much effort ever again" I said to someone after slumping to the kerb in the baggage retrieval area on The Mall. That was a touch of the Steve Redgraves, but it was largely true. I think to ever put that level of effort into another race I will have to have got the desire back: I will need to have forgotten just how much that hurt!

In the weeks following London I felt ill. For 17 days (I counted) I felt exhausted; I felt like I had the flu (I'm fairly sure I didn't though). My legs recovered but I still lacked energy. My dreadful experience of the Alton 10 after 4 weeks, I put down to the fierce heat, but with hindsight I was still suffering from London. This was a very different experience from my Boston recovery: my quads were trashed after the marathon but I soon got my energy back and positively bounded around Alton, albeit in much cooler conditions. The following week I felt great for the Isle of Wight marathon, only 5 weeks after London, picking up a Hampshire gold medal in the process.

A possible difference between the 2 scenarios was the different nature of the Boston and London courses: Boston is hilly and London is pretty flat. Though the hills in Boston can punish the unwary, and certainly got me, I think they at least give your legs a bit of a change of scenery. In London, you are using the same muscle group for a full 26.2 miles, and that will wear you down.

I entered Edinburgh as a safety net. If the weather in London had been hot again and I'd fallen short of my target, at least I'd be able to try again 6 weeks later. This happened to a friend last year: she ran 3:28 in the heat of London, but 3:13 in the rain of Edinburgh. This year though the adverse conditions were reversed: near perfect conditions in London, and a strong headwind in Edinburgh which was destined to add at least 5 minutes to runners times.

So at 10 miles into Edinburgh, realising that I wasn't going to make my target, and not wanting to subject myself to another month in a dark pit of fatigue, and realising for every extra step I took I was going to have to walk an extra step back to the warmth of my rucksack on the baggage lorry, I baled.

Suddenly the world seemed a nicer place: I was going to be able to devote energy to the dear friends I was staying with, whom I hadn't seen for a few years. I was going to be able to do races in the coming weeks that I wouldn't have been able to do. I was going to be able to get back to proper training and simply run! - I love the simple act of running, and to be able to run 10 miles to Roslin Chapel (of Da Vinci code fame) 2 days later, in the cold and wet, was a joy in itself - impossible if I'd just raced 26.2 miles.

As luck would have it I met my friend's son on the way back to the finish at the race course. We were able to sit in the relative warmth of the grandstand (it was still a cold day despite the sunshine) and cheer his mum home to a victory in the W50 category (an astonishing achievement, after so many injury problems, that had me in tears).

We had a great time at the finish soaking up the atmosphere. It's a great location for the finish of what potentially is a very fast marathon. Vicarious marathon running is great fun, if a little emotional!

The application letter for a championship place in the Flora London Marathon 2009 has now been sent, based on my 3:15:18. I couldn't help mentioning the time I spent waiting to get past the Maasai warriors in the opening mile.

It's only 18 seconds.

Pretty please?